By LOLITA C. BALDOR

WASHINGTON (AP) — As transgender service members face a deadline to leave the U.S. military, hundreds are taking the financial bonus to depart voluntarily. But others say they will stay and fight.

For many, it is a wrenching decision to end a career they love, and leave units they have led or worked with for years. And they are angry they are being forced out by the Trump administration’s renewed ban on transgender troops.

Active duty service members had until Friday to identify themselves and begin to leave the military voluntarily, while the National Guard and Reserve have until July 7. Then the military will begin involuntary separations.

Friday’s deadline comes during Pride Month and as the Trump administration targets diversity, equity and inclusion efforts, saying it’s aiming to scrub the military of “wokeness” and reestablishing a “warrior ethos.”

“They’re tired of the rollercoaster. They just want to go,” said one transgender service member, who plans to retire. ”It’s exhausting.”

For others, it’s a call to arms.

“I’m choosing to stay in and fight,” a noncommissioned officer in the Air Force said. “My service is based on merit, and I’ve earned that merit.”

The troops, who mainly spoke on condition of anonymity because they fear reprisals, said being forced to decide is frustrating. They say it’s a personal choice based on individual and family situations, including whether they would get an infusion of cash or possibly wind up owing the government money.

“I’m very disappointed,” a transgender Marine said. “I’ve outperformed, I have a spotless record. I’m at the top of every fitness report. I’m being pushed out while I know others are barely scraping by.”

Some transgender troops decide to leave based on finances

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has said this is President Donald Trump’s directive and what America voted for. The Pentagon, he said, is “leaving wokeness & weakness behind” and that includes “no more dudes in dresses.”

Sen. Tammy Duckworth of Illinois, a veteran, and 22 other Democratic senators have written to Hegseth urging him to allow transgender troops to keep serving honorably.

Already, more than 1,000 service members have voluntarily identified themselves as transgender and are slated to begin leaving, according to rough Defense Department estimates. Defense officials say there are about 4,240 active duty transgender troops but acknowledge the numbers are fuzzy.

For many, the decision is financial.

Those who voluntarily leave will get double the amount of separation pay they would normally receive and won’t have to return bonuses or tuition costs. Those who refuse to go could be forced to repay reenlistment or other bonuses as high as $50,000.

That was the tipping point for Roni Ferrell, an Army specialist at Joint Base Lewis-McChord near Tacoma, Washington.

Ferrell, 28, lives on base with her wife and two children and had planned to stay in the Army for at least another decade. But she said she felt “backed into a corner” to sign the voluntary separation agreement, fearing she would have to repay an $18,500 reenlistment bonus.

“My commander basically said it was my only option in order to make sure my kids are taken care of,” Ferrell said.

The Marine, who has served for more than 25 years, said she had planned to stay and fight, but changed her mind. Lawyers, she said, told her an involuntary separation would put a code in her record saying she was forced to leave “in the interests of national security.”

That designation, she said, could mean those involuntarily separated could lose their security clearances, hurting future job prospects.

In a statement Friday, a defense official said the code “is not intended” to trigger clearance revocations and that gender dysphoria is not a security reporting requirement, according to the director of national intelligence. The official spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss internal deliberations.

Cynthia Cheng-Wun Weaver, senior director of litigation for Human Rights Campaign, said it’s important for troops to talk with judge advocates general in their services to ensure they understand the different procedures being implemented.

Other transgender troops plan to stay despite the ban

The Air Force service member and a transgender officer in the Army National Guard both said they plan to stay and fight. Lawsuits over the ban continue and could change or block the policy.

For troops involved in the court battles as plaintiffs, leaving voluntarily now would likely hurt their standing in the case. For others, it’s simply dedication to their career.

“I’ve really embraced military culture, and it’s embraced me,” the Air Force member said. “It’s not about money. It’s the career that I love.”

The Guard soldier echoed that sentiment, saying he will stay on “because it is important to me to serve. Frankly, I’m good at it, I’m well trained so I want to continue.”

Others without bonuses to repay or who have been in the military only a short while and won’t get much in separation bonus pay may opt to stay and see what happens.

National Guard troops face a particular problem

National Guard members who are heading to their monthly drill weekend or annual two-week drill in June could be required to go but serve as the gender they were assigned at birth.

That means they would have to wear uniforms and haircuts of that gender, use that bathroom and be referred to as “sir” or “ma’am” based on that gender.

For many, that could be close to impossible and create uncomfortable situations.

“If I were to show up to drill this weekend, I’d be expected to use all female facilities, I would be expected to wear a woman’s uniform,” said the Army Guard officer, who transitioned to male about five years ago and says others in his unit know him as a man. “I don’t look like a woman. I don’t feel like a woman. It would be disruptive to good order and discipline for me to show up and to tell my soldiers, you have to call me ‘ma’am’ now.”

It’s not clear if Guard units are handling it all the same way, and it could be up to individual states or commanders. Some may allow troops to postpone the drill or go on administrative leave.

What happens next for transgender troops?

The service members interviewed by The Associated Press said they don’t know what will happen once the deadline passes to leave voluntarily.

Some believe that unit commanders will quickly single people out and start involuntary separations. Others say the process is vague, may involve medical review boards and could take months.

The defense official said Friday that as the Pentagon takes these steps, it “will treat our service members with dignity and respect.”

Under Hegseth’s directive, military commanders will be told to identify troops with gender dysphoria — when a person’s biological sex does not match their gender identity — and send them to get medical checks to force them out of the service, defense officials have said. The order relies on routine annual health checks — so it could be months before that evaluation is scheduled.

“My real big sticking point is that this administration’s whole push is to reform this country based around merit, and that gender, race, etc., should have no factor in hiring,” the Air Force service member said. “If that’s true, I’m solely being removed for my gender, and merit is no longer a factor.”

Associated Press writer R.J. Rico in Atlanta contributed to this report.